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Cabaret
Music: John Kander
Lyrics: Fred Ebb
Book: Joe Masteroff
Premiere: Sunday, November 20, 1966
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ACT ONE
1.WILLKOMMEN
2.SO WHAT?
3.DON'T TELL MAMA
4.TELEPHONE SONG
5.PERFECTLY MARVELOUS
6.TWO LADIES
7.IT COULDN'T PLEASE ME MORE
8.TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME
ACT TWO
9.ENTR'ACTE
10.WHY SHOULD I WAKE UP?
11.THE MONEY SONG
12.MARRIED
13.MEESKITE
14.IF YOU COULD SEE HER
15.WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
16.CABARET
17.FINALE
1.WILLKOMMEN
M.C.:
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Fremder, etranger, stranger
Glcklich zu sehen,
Je suis enchant,
Happy to see you,
Bleibe, reste, stay.
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Im Cabaret, Au Cabaret, To Cabaret!
Meine Damen und Herren-
Mes dames et Messieurs-
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Guten Abend! Bon Soir! Good Evening!
Wie geht's? Comment sa va?
Do you feel good?
Ich bin eur confrencier!
Je suis votre comp?re,
I am you host!
Und sage.
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Leave your troubles outside.
So life is disappointing, forget it!
In here life is beautiful.
The girls are beautiful.
Even the orchestra is beautiful.
[The Band plays]
And now presenting the cabaret girls!
Each and everyone a virgin--
You don't believe me,
Well, do not take my word for it,
Go ahead, ask her!
Ha ha ha!
Outside it is Winter, but in here it is so hot!
Ev'ry night we have the battle to keep the girls from taking off
all their clothing, so don't go away, who knows, tonight we may
lose the battle!
GIRLS:
Und sage.
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Im Cabaret,
Au Cabaret,
To Cabaret!
M.C.:
We are her to serve you!
COMPANY:
Bleibe, reste, stay.
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Im Cabaret,
Au Cabaret...Wir sorgen!
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Fremder, Etranger, Stanger,
Glcklich zu sehen, M.C.:
Je suis enchant, Enchant, Madame!
Happy to see you, Happy to see you
Bleibe, reste, stay.
Und sage.
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Fremder, Etranger, Stanger,
Glcklich zu sehen,
Je suis enchant,
Happy to see you,
Bleibe, reste, stay.
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Im Cabaret,
Au Cabaret,
To Cabaret!
2.SO WHAT?
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
You say fifty marks, I say one hundred marks.
A difference of fifty Marks
Why should that stand in our way?
As long as the room's to let
The fifty that I will get
Is fifty more than I had yesterday, aha!
When you're as old as I-
Is anyone old as I?
What difference does it make?
An offer comes, you take!
For the sun will rise and the moon will set,
And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,
It'll all go on if we're here or not,
So, who cares, so what?
So, who cares, so what?
When I was a girl my summers were spent by the sea, so what?
And I had a maid doing all the house work, not me, so what?
Now I scrub up the floors, and I wash down the walls,
And I empty that chamber pot.
If it ended that way, then it ended that way,
And I shrug and I say, so what?
For the sun will rise and the moon will set
And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,
It'll all go on if we're here or not,
So, who cares, so what?
So, who cares, so what?
When I had a man, my figure was stampede and fat, so what?
Through all of our years we were so disappointed than that, so what?
Now I have what he missed then my figure is trim,
But he lies in a churchyard lot.
If it wasn't to be that he ever would see
The abundance of me, so what?
For the sun will rise and the moon will set
And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,
It'll all go on if we're here or not,
So, who cares, so what?
So, who cares, so what?
So, once I was rich,
And now all my fortune is gone, so what?
And love disappeared,
And only the memory lives on, so what?
If I've lived through all that,
And I've lived through all that,
Fifty Marks doesn't mean a lot!
If I liked that you're here,
And I like that you're here
Happy New Year, my dear, so what!
For the sun will rise and the moon will set
And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,
It'll all go on if we're here or not,
So, who cares, so what?
So, who cares, so what?
It all goes on,
So, who cares?
Who cares?
So what?
3.DON'T TELL MAMA
M.C.:
Meine Damen und Herren, Madames et Messieurs,
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Und now the Kit Kat Club is proud to present the toast of Mayfair,
Frulein Sally Bowles!
SALLY BOWLES:
Mama
Thinks I'm living in a convent
A secluded little convent
In the Southern part of France
Mama
Doesn't even have an inkling
That I'm working in a nightclub
In a pair of lacy pants
So, please, sir,
If you run into my mama
Don't reveal my indiscretion
Give a working girl a chance
Hush up, don't tell mama
Shush up, don't tell mama
Don't tell mama whatever you do.
If you had a secret you bet
I could keep it
I would never tell on you!
I'm breakin' ev'ry promise that I gave her
So, won't you kindly do a girl a great big favor
And please, my sweet potato,
Keep this from my mater,
Thou my dance is not against the law
You could tell my papa, that's alright!
'Cause he comes in here ev'ry night
But don't tell mama what you saw!
GIRLS:
Mama
Since I wanted go to Europe
With a couple of my school chumps
And a lady chaperon
Mama
Doesn't even have an inkling
That I left the morning after
And I'm touring on my own
So, please, sir,
If you run into my mama
Don't reveal my indiscretion
SALLY BOWLES:
Just leave well enough alone
SALLY and GIRLS:
Hush up, don't tell mama
Shush up, don't tell mama
Don't tell mama whatever you do.
If you had a secret you bet
I could keep it
I would never tell on you!
You wouldn't want to get me in a pickle
And have a girl ain't cut me off without a nickel
So let's cross one another
Keep this from my mother
Thou I'm still as pure as mama's soul
You can tell my uncle here and now
'Cause he's my agent anyhow
But don't tell mama what you know!
You can tell my grandma, suits me fine
Just guess s'mday she join the line
But don't tell mama what you know!
You can tell my brother, that ain't grim
So if he squeals on me
I'll squeal on him
But don't tell mama, bitte
Don't tell mama, please sir
Don't tell mama what you know!
If you see my mammy mums the word
4.TELEPHONE SONG
-Hello!
-Hello!
-Sittin' all alone like that
You happen to catch my eye
Would you like to buy a girl a drink?
-Sorry!
-Oh, goodbye!
-Hello!
-Hello!
-Table four is calling table nine, how are you, mister?
-I get fine!
-Sittin' all alone like that
You happen to catch my eye
Would you like to buy a girl a dance?
-Yeah! Wait up!
-Goodbye!
-Hello! -Hello! -Hello! -Hello!
-Table seven calling number three,
How are you, handsome?
-You mean me?
-We can see you, can you see us?
Would you like to have a dance?
The rhythm to the music's hot,
Maybe if we could talk it over here.
-Hot, close, why not?
-Alone, alone,
You shouldn't sit alone like that
Alone, alone,
Alone in a night like this
-Alone, alone,
You shouldn't sit alone like that
Alone, alone,
Alone in a night like this
-Yeah, look!
-Hello! -Hello! -Hello! -Hello! Etc.
-Table seven is calling number nine, how are you?...
-Table eight is calling number two, how are you?...
-Table five is calling number three, how are you?...
-Sittin' all alone like that
You happen to catch my eye
Would you like to buy a girl a drink?
Would you like to buy a man a drink?
Would you like to buy a boy a drink?
Will you?
Why not?
Goodbye!
5.PERFECTLY MARVELOUS
SALLY BOWLES:
If anyone should ask you about me one day, Cliff, you have two alternatives
You can either say, yes it's true, we're living in delicious sin, or you can
Simply tell them the truth and say,
I met this perfectly marvelous girl,
In this perfectly wonderful place,
As I lifted the glass to the start of this marvelous year
Before you knew would she call on the phone inviting
Next moment I was no longer alone, but set reciting
Some perfectly beautiful buzz
In my charming American style
How I dazzled the senses with truly no less than a guile
Now I've this perfectly marvelous girl
In my perfectly beautiful room
And we're living together and having a marvelous time...
CLIFF:
Oh, Sally, I'm afraid it wouldn't work.
You're much too distracting.
SALLY:
Distracting? No, inspiring!
She tells me perfectly marvelous tales
Of her prettily scandalous life
Which I'll probably use
As a chapter or two in my book
and since my stay in Berlin was to force creation
What luck to fall on a fabulous source of stimulation
That perfectly marvelous tool
Is a perfect dream to be
Just as still as a mouse fall
I'm giving my novel a word
Yes, I've the highly agreeable life
In my perfectly beautiful room
With my nearly invisible
Perfectly marvelous girl.
CLIFF:
I met this truly remarkable girl
In this really incredible town
And she still fully managed to
Talk away into my room
SALLY:
Oh, Cliff!
CLIFF:
I have a terrible feeling I said a dumb thing
Besides I've only got one narrow bed...
SALLY:
We'll think of something!
CLIFF:
And now this wild unpredictable girl
SALLY:
And this perfectly beautiful man
BOTH:
We'll be living together
And having a marvelous time!
6.TWO LADIES
M.C. and GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee,
Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee,
Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
Two ladies.
GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
Two ladies.
GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
And I'm the only man, ja!
GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
I like it.
GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
They like it.
GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
This two for one!
M.C. and GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
GIRLS:
Two ladies.
M.C.:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
GIRLS:
Two ladies.
M.C.:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
GIRLS:
And he's the only man,
M.C.:
ja!
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
GIRLS:
He likes it.
M.C.:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
GIRLS:
We like it.
M.C.:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
GIRLS:
This two for one!
GIRL 1:
I do the cooking
GIRL 2:
And I make the bed
M.C.:
I go out daily to earn our daily bread.
But we've one thing in common
GIRL 1:
He,
M.C.:
She
GIRL 2:
And me,
GIRL 1:
The key,
GIRL 2:
The key,
M.C.:
The key.
Eins,
GIRL 2:
Zwei,
GIRL 1:
Drei,
ALL:
Los!
GIRLS:
Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!
M.C.:
We switch partners daily
To play as he please,
GIRL 1:
Twosie beats onsie,
M.C.:
But nothing beats threes.
I sleep in the middle,
GIRL 2:
I'm left,
GIRL 1:
And I'm right.
M.C.:
But there's room on the bottom
If you drop in some night!
M.C. and GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
Two ladies.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
Two ladies.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
And he's the only man, ja!
GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
I like it.
GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
They like it.
GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
M.C.:
This two for one!
GIRLS:
Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee!
7.IT COULDN'T PLEASE ME MORE
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
If you bought me diamonds
If you bought me pearls
If you bought me roses
Like some other gents
Might bring to other girls
It couldn't please me more
Than the gift I see
A pineapple for me
HERR SCHULTZ:
If in your emotion you began to sway
When to get some in
Or drab a chin to keep from thinking dirt away
It couldn't please me more
Than to see you claim
To the pineapple blame
BOTH:
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
I can hear Hawaiian breezes blow
BOTH:
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
HERR SCHULTZ:
It's from California
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
Even so!
How am I to thank you?
HERR SCHULTZ:
Kindly let it pass.
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
Would you like a slice?
HERR SCHULTZ:
That might be nice,
But frankly it would give me gas.
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
Then we should leave it here,
Not to eat, but see
BOTH:
A pineapple--
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
For me.
HERR SCHULTZ:
From me.
BOTH:
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
But you must not bring me any more pineapples. It's through, you hear?
It's not proper. It's a gift the young man must present to his lady love
It makes me blush--
HERR SCHULTZ:
But no one, no one in all Berlin is more deserving. If I could I would fill
An entire room with pineapples--
BOTH:
A pineapple-
HERR SCHULTZ:
For you--
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
From you-
BOTH:
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
Ah ah-
By now I think I must lie down for a few minutes, my head is spinning.
HERR SCHULTZ:
So, good evening Frulein!
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
Good evening, Herr Schultz.
I'm overwhelmed!
8.TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME
WAITERS
The sun on the meadow is summery warm
The stag in the forest runs free
But gathered together to greet the storm
Tomorrow belongs to me
The branch on the linden is leafy and green
The Rhine gives its gold to the sea (Gold to the sea)
But somewhere a glory awaits unseen
Tomorrow belongs to me
Now Fatherland, Fatherland, show us the sign
Your children have waited to see
The morning will come
When the world is mine
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me
[ADDITIONAL VERSE]
The babe in his cradle is closing his eyes
The blossom embraces the bee
But soon says the whisper, arise, arise
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me
ACT TWO
9.ENTR'ACTE
KIT KAT BAND
[Instrumental]
10.WHY SHOULD I WAKE UP?
CLIFF:
Why should I wake up?
This dream is going so well.
When you're enchanted,
Why break the spell?
Drifting in this youthful state,
Morning can wait,
Let it come late.
Why should I wake up?
Why waste a drop of the wine?
Don't I adore you
And aren't you mine?
Maybe I'll someday be lonely again,
But why should I wake up?
Why should I wake up till then?
Drifting in this youthful state,
Morning can wait,
Let it come late.
Why should I wake up?
Why waste a drop of the wine?
Don't I adore you
And aren't you mine?
Maybe I'll someday be lonely again,
But why should I wake up?
Why should I wake up till then?
11.THE MONEY SONG
M.C. AND CABARET GIRLS:
NOT AVAILABLE!
12.MARRIED
HERR SCHULTZ:
How the world can change,
It can change like that.
Due to one little word: "Married."
See a palace rise from a two room flat,
Due to one little word: "Married."
And the world despair that was often there,
Suddenly ceases to be.
For you wake one day, look around and say:
"Somebody wonderful married me."
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
How the world can change,
It can change like that.
Due to one little word:
BOTH:
"Married."
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
See a palace rise from a two room flat,
Due to one little word:
BOTH
"Married."
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
And the world despair that was often there,
Suddenly ceases to be.
BOTH:
For you wake one day, look around and say:
HERR SCHULTZ:
"Somebody wonderful--
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
"Somebody wonderful
BOTH:
Married me."
13.MEESKITE
These lyrics were kindly provided by Claudio Erlichman
HERR SCHULTZ:
[spoken]
Now the only word you have to know to understand this
little song is the Yiddish word "meeskite".
Meeskite means: ugly, funny looking...
Meeskite means:
[singing]
Meeskite, meeskite
Once upon a time there was a
Meeskite, meeskite
Looking in the mirror
He would say
What an awful shock,
I've got a face
That could stop a clock.
Meeskite, meeskite
Such a pity on him
He is a
Meeskite, meeskite
God up in his Heaven left him out on a shaky limb
He put a meeskite on him!
[spoken]
Listen, he grew up. Even meeskites grow up.
[singing]
And soon in the Heder (means Hebrew School)
He sat beside this little girl
And when he asked her, her name
She replied: "I'm Pearl!"
He ran to the Zeiddah (that's grandfather)
And said in the scratchy voice of his
You told me I was the homeliest
Well, gramps, you're wrong, Pearl is!
Meeskite, meeskite
No one ever saw a bigger
Meeskite, meeskite
Ev'rywhere a flaw
And maybe that is the reason why
I'm going to love her, until I die!
Meeskite, meeskite
Oh, it is a pleasure, she's a
Meeskite, meeskite
She's the one I'll treasure
For I thought there could never be
A bigger meeskite, than me!
[spoken]
Listen to what happened:
[singing]
And so they were married
And in a year she turned and smiled:
"I'm afraid, I am going to have a child".
Nine months she carried
Worrying how's that child would look
And all the cousins, well, worried too,
But what a turn fate took:
Gorgeous, gorgeous
They produced a baby that was
Gorgeous, gorgeous
Crowding 'round the cradle
All relatives awed and wooed
He ought to pose for a baby-food.
Gorgeous, gorgeous
Would I tell a lie?
He's simply
Gorgeous, gorgeous
Who'd have ever thought
That we will see such a flawless gem,
Out of two meeskites like them?
[spoken]
Wait! Wait! This story has a moral. All my stories have morals:
[singing]
Moral, moral
Yes indeed the story has a
Moral, moral
"Thou you not a beauty
It is nevertheless quite true
There may be beautiful things in you".
Meeskite, meeskite
Listen to a fable of the
Meeskite, meeskite
Anyone responsible for loveliness large or small
Is not a meeskite at all!
14.IF YOU COULD SEE HER
M.C.:
I know what you're thinking
You wonder why I chose her
Out of all the ladies in the world
That's just a first impression
What good's a first impression
If you knew her like I do,
It would change your point of view-
If you could see her
If you could see her thru my eyes,
You wouldn't wonder at all.
If you could see her thru my eyes,
I guarantee you would fall
(Like I did)
When we're in public together,
I hear society moan,
But if they could see her thru my eyes,
Maybe they'd leave us alone.
How can I speak of her virtues?
I don't know where to begin.
She's clever, she's smart, she reads music,
She doesn't smoke or drink gin.
(Like I do)
Yet when we're walking together,
They sneer if I'm holding her hand,
But if they could see her thru my eyes,
Maybe they'd all understand...
[Spoken]
Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask you,
Is there a crime to fall in love?
Can one ever choose where our heats lead us?
[Sung]
Oh, I understand your objection,
I grant my problem's not small;
But if you could see her thru my eyes,
She isn't a meeskite at all!
15.WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
These lyrics were kindly provided by Claudio Erlichman
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
With the time rushing by,
What would you do?
With the clock running down,
What would you do?
The young always have the cure:
Being brave, being sure and free.
But imagine if you were me.
Alone like me
And this is the only world I know
Some rooms to let,
To some other lifetime, even so.
I'll take your advice,
What would you do?
Would you pay the price,
What would you do?
Suppose simply keeping still,
Means you managed until the end.
What would you do,
My brave, young friend?
Grown old like me,
With neither there'll be no wish to run.
Grown tired like me,
For her is forbid when day is done
Grown wise like me,
Who isn't in war with anyone?
Not anyone!
With the storm in the wind,
What would you do?
Suppose you are unafraid and wise,
Being told what the choice must be.
Go on, tell me...
I will listen...
What would you do?...
If you were me!
16.CABARET
M.C.:
Meine Damen und Herren, Madames et Messieurs,
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Und now, once again, Frulein Sally Bowls!
SALLY BOWLES:
What good is sittin' alone in your room
Come hear the music play,
Life is a cabaret old chum
Come to the cabaret.
Put down that knittin', the book and the broom
Time for a holiday,
Life is a cabaret old chum
Come to the cabaret.
Come taste the wine, come hear that band
Come blow your horn, start celebratin'
Right this way, your table's waitin'
No use permittin' a prophet of doom
Wipe every smile away, yes
Life is a cabaret old chum
Come to the cabaret!
I used to have a girl friend known as Elsie
With whom I shared four sordid rooms in Chelsea
She wasn't what you'd call a blushing flower
As a matter of fact she rented by the hour
The day she died the neighbors came to sneaker
Well, that's what comes of too much pills and licqueur
But when I saw her laid down like a queen
She was the happiest corpse I'd ever seen
I think of Elsie to this very day,
I remember how she turned to me and said:
What good is sittin' alone in your room
Come hear the music play,
Life is a cabaret old chum
Come to the cabaret
Put down that knittin', the book and the broom
Time for a holiday,
Life is a cabaret, old chum
So come to the cabaret.
And as for me,
As for me,
I made my up back in Chelsea
When I go, I'm going like Elsie,
Start by admitting go cradle to tumb
Isn't that a longer stay
What good is sittin' alone in your room
Come hear the music play, yes
Life is a cabaret old chum
It's only a cabaret old chum
And I love a cabaret!
Yes, life is a cabaret old chum
Only a cabaret old chum
So come to the cabaret
17.FINALE
COMPANY:
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Fremder, Etranger, Stanger,
Glcklich zu sehen,
Je suis enchant,
Happy to see you,
Bleibe, reste, stay.
M.C.:
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Im Cabaret, Au Cabaret, To Cabaret!
Meine Damen und Herren-
Mes dames et Messieurs-
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Where are your troubles now?
Forgotten, I told you so!
We have no troubles here
Here life is beautiful.
The girls are beautiful.
Even the orchestra is beautiful.
[The Band plays]
HERR SCHULTZ:
Meeskite means-
Meeskite, Meeskite
Once upon a time there was a
Meeskite, Meeskite
Looking in the mirror
And he would say 'what an awful shock,
I've got a face that could stop a clock'
Meeskite, Meeskite
COMPANY:
Glcklich zu sehen,
Je suis enchant,
Happy to see you--
FRULEIN SCHNEIDER:
For the sun will rise and the moon will set,
And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,
It'll all go on if we're here or not,
So, who cares--
So, who cares, so what?
COMPANY:
Fremder, Etranger, Stanger,
Glcklich zu sehen,
Je suis enchant--
SALLY BOWLES:
I made my up back in Chelsea
When I go, I'm going like Elsie,
...Go cradle to tumb
Isn't that a longer stay
Life is a cabaret old chum
Life is a cabaret old chum
Life is a cabaret old chum
M.C.:
Aufwiedershen!
? bient?t!
Good night!
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